Are you the parent of a new adult, or seeing your child’s adulthood coming closer?
Has your relationship with your child been changing? Is it becoming distant? Does it feel shallow? Are you worried that your child doesn’t want you in their life anymore? Have you been feeling like they’d rather not spend time with you or talk with you – or, even, that they’re starting to reject you?
Well, first, let’s remember what got you here. You’ve been a parent for about 18 years, right? Let’s take a minute to celebrate that! You’ve been doing the world’s most difficult job for nearly two decades, and you’re good at it! (If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here looking for a solution to this problem, right?)
And that problem is that now, for some reason, doing what you’ve always done as a parent just isn’t working anymore. Whether you’re offering help, giving advice, providing feedback, or expecting respect, your child is suddenly responding with “dropped” phone calls, slammed doors, unanswered texts, impatient sighs, and exasperation – not connection and communication.
Are you ready for an end to the arguments, the silences, the awkward phone calls, and the tense interactions? Are you ready to reconnect with your adult child?
Hi, I’m Adam Sanford.
Have you ever noticed how people usually have a good idea of what they want, but something keeps getting in the way of their goals? I’m one of those people who looks at a situation and says, “What would work better to get to the goals you want to reach? What’s limiting your ability to get there? What can change?”
I’ve worked with all kinds of people to help them learn how to get to the goals they want. I do this by helping them examine their current actions, figure out what they thought they’d get from them, see what they’re actually getting from them, and identify what they can change – in order to get what they want. From college students to empty-nest parents, the steps to the goal are remarkably similar!
At the Empty Nest School, the goal is almost always “I want to reconnect with my adult child,” and the way to get there is simpler and more straightforward than most people realize! In my work with parents, I’ve figured out the main things parents do that get in the way of their goal, and how to change those things so parents can get to their goal. I’ve also put together a step-by-step system and a community of support to help you get there.
The Problem
When an adult child cuts their parents off, it’s usually permanent. Sadly, the majority of estranged adult children say they don’t want to reconnect with their parents.
But there are ways to stop this from happening.
As an academic life coach for high-school and college students, I’ve seen my clients and their parents develop problems when the child becomes an adult (or even when they’re almost there), and the parent just isn’t ready yet. It’s often a major issue we deal with in the coaching process!
At first, I thought it was just an occasional thing – but then I started seeing client after client whose parents were tense, worried, and dreading their child’s impending adulthood, and it made me curious. So I went back to my roots – graduate school – to figure out what I was seeing.
I have a Ph.D. in sociology, so I know a little bit about how social interaction works – and a lot about how it doesn’t. And one of the things that really sets up whether an interaction works or not is whether the people in it are in the right roles for the situation. (Think of a person who’s acting out the role of “teacher” with a person who isn’t interested in being a “student” – it won’t go well!)
As it turns out, the pain the moms and dads of my clients were feeling wasn’t because their child was turning 18, or because of anything their child was doing, really.
It was because the moms and dads were having trouble adjusting to their new role – the role called “parent of an adult.” And what made it even harder was this role change may not have been one the parents wanted – but it was inevitable, and couldn’t be avoided.
Once I saw that, everything I was seeing with my clients and their parents clicked into place. It was almost painfully predictable:
First, the parents parent like their adult child is still a child: guiding, protecting, and advising.
Next, the adult child, naturally, reacts by pushing away the people whose actions make them feel like they’re incompetent and incapable.
Finally, the parents stand in the wreck of the relationship and wonder “what happened?”
Since what the parent knows about parenting is about parenting children (not adults), they keep trying to connect the way they always have. But it doesn’t work anymore!
▸ The parent wants to guide – but the adult child wants independence, which the parent sees as disobedience.
▸ The parent wants to give advice – but the adult child wants to make their own choices, which the parent sees as rebellion.
▸ The parent wants to know what’s happening in their adult child’s life and protect them from harm – but the child wants privacy, which the parent sees as secrecy.
Essentially, the parent thinks they’re helping by doing what they’ve always done – but the newly adult child feels like their parent sees them as a teen or toddler who isn’t capable or competent.
And eventually, the adult child pushes their parents away, because they’re tired of being treated like a child, and the parent ends up feeling rejected, unwanted, and like they’re a failure at parenting.
This is a difficult situation, because the change in the child’s status demands a change in how they and their parents interact – but until now, nobody has taught parents how to successfully make the shift from “parent of a child” to “parent of an adult.” And as a result, a lot of parents just keep doing what they’ve always done… and as a result of that, a lot of adult kids cut their parents off.
Boom. Estrangement. Every parent’s worst nightmare come true.
Fortunately, there are ways to keep that from happening!
In my interactions with the parents of my clients, I’ve guided them into new ways of interacting, connecting, and parenting that respect their child’s adult status, while still letting them feel like they’re doing parenting right.
I’ve helped parents see how to view their children as adults, respect them as adults, and treat them as adults. Katie, for example, had to learn some new ways to see her daughter Annie as an adult, so that she could treat her as an adult – and it had to happen in that order. In working with me, she was able to sort out workable ways to make that happen. As a result, Annie now sees her mom as one of her best friends.
I’ve helped parents work through the emotions they feel about leaving the role of “parent of a child” behind – because for some parents, it’s really hard to do that. For example, Tom admitted that he didn’t know what it looked like to be the parent of an adult, because his only real definition of “father” was “protector.” We worked through that together, and now he has a great relationship with his adult kids.
I want to offer you the same help.
Introducing:
Let Go to Stay Connected
learn how to transform your relationship with your adult child from disconnection and rejection to communication and connection
The first-ever Let Go to Stay Connected course will launch on November 2nd. I can’t wait for you to join me there!
What will you get out of this course?
This course will help you build a closer, stronger relationship with your adult child, by teaching you tools and methods to authentically reconnect with them (and put an end to your frustration, worry, anxiety, and stress).
The material I’m giving you in this course represents several hundred hours’ worth of work and development, and several years of interaction with the parents of new adults, helping them work through the bumps in the road as they transition to being the parent of an adult.
Support, solutions, and community
The course provides tools, and solutions, and community. You won’t be doing this alone – you’ll have people to lean on, ask for help, vent to, and get support from. You’ll have a community to check in with, check your ideas with, and get reality checks from – so you can continue to strengthen your connection with your adult child in a genuine, effective way.
Did I mention you’d be a founding member?
As a founding member of this course, you will get in with a price I’ll never offer again, and you will always have free, forever access to any updates, additions, and improvements I create as the course develops over time.
Why take this course NOW?
1. Are you on this list?
▶︎ Parents who have noticed their relationship with their child is changing, and can see the old ways they interacted just aren’t working anymore
▶︎ Parents who have a distant connection with their adult child, and want to learn ways to make it strengthen and grow
▶︎ Parents whose children will be adults soon (age 16-17), who can see this disconnection on the horizon, and want to avoid it if they can
2. Are you ready to do these things?
▶︎ Connect with your child as an adult
▶︎ Let go of control in favor of connection
▶︎ Learn new ways of interacting that work with adults
If you answered “yes” to both questions, this course was designed for your needs.
The WebCourse is a set of 5 learning modules. Each module will be released on Monday, 1 module per week, over 5 weeks. You’ll get video lessons, downloadable worksheets, a discussion area, and the opportunity to use this content to immediately move the things blocking clear communication with your child out of your way.
What’s Included?
You’ll experience the course, the content, and the community as you learn how to interact successfully with your adult child.
Course Overview
Module 1: LEARN what your adult child needs
By the end of this module, you’ll have clarity about the differences between what a child needed and what an adult needs from their parents, how to identify what your adult child needs from you now, and how to meet those needs to increase connection.
You’ll learn:
● What’s changed now that your child is an adult, so you can meet the needs they have now
● How to get the same feelings now that you used to get when interacting
● What to focus on when you interact with your child, so that you create and maintain connection
You’ll receive:
● PDF Worksheet: When Your Child’s Needs Change – so you can figure out what needs they have that you need to learn to meet
● PDF Worksheet: What Parenting a Child Gave You – so you can identify what you always got out of your relationship with your child when they were still a child
● PDF Worksheet: What Parenting an Adult Might Give You – so you can identify what you want to get out of your relationship with your adult child, now that they’re an adult
● Vision List Template – A downloadable tool to set some goals for your future relationship with your adult child
● Strength Assessment – A fillable form to assess where you are right now in your ability to meet your adult child’s needs
● End-of-Module Review – A fillable form to guide you in assessing what you still need to know and where you still might have questions
Module 2: SHIFT your thinking to see your child as an adult
By the end of this module, you’ll be able to adjust your view of your child so you see them as an adult, and have some solid guidelines for actions to communicate that view in your interactions.
You’ll learn:
● The unspoken messages your child hears in your actions, so that you can send the ones that increase connection
● How the way you see your child can change the messages they receive, so you can course-correct
● Four guidelines to help you see your child as a fellow adult, so you can treat them as an adult
● How changing your views will change your child’s reactions when you approach them for interaction
You’ll receive:
● PDF Worksheet: Child-Parenting vs. Adult-Parenting Actions – to help you identify what you used to do as the parent of a child, and what you need to do now as the parent of an adult
● Action List Template – A downloadable tool to plan actions you’ll take as the parent of an adult
● End-of-Module Review – A fillable form to guide you in assessing what you still need to know and where you still might have questions
Module 3: WHAT you say…
By the end of this module, you’ll be aware of what topics work to create and increase connection, and which ones are connection-shredders to be avoided.
You’ll learn:
● Three topics that are guaranteed to send the wrong message to your adult child, and how to avoid them
● When it’s still okay to bring up those topics, and why
● Three topics that send the message you want to send, and how to use them
● How to replace the topics you used to use with topics that create connection, so you can stay connected to your adult child
You’ll receive:
● PDF Worksheet: Safe Topics and Off-Limits Topics – to help you identify topics that will keep you and your child connecting during conversations
● Topic List Template – a downloadable tool to plan effective topics, and identify and discard ineffective topics that cause problems in communication and connection
● Role-Play to Practice – an opportunity to practice what you’re learning with a partner
● End-of-Module Review – A fillable form to guide you in assessing what you still need to know and where you still might have questions
Module 4: …and WHY you say it
By the end of this module, you’ll understand why your motivation matters – and how to choose effective goals for your conversations, in order to create and increase connection with your adult child.
You’ll learn:
● Three goals for conversations that send the wrong message to your adult child, and how to avoid them
● Three goals for conversations that send the messages you want to send, and how to use them
● How to replace the goals you used to use with goals that will maintain connection, so you can stay connected to your adult child
You’ll receive:
● PDF Worksheet: Script Generator – to help you identify scripts for conversations that keep you and your child connecting and communicating
● Script List Template – A downloadable tool to plan effective scripts, and identify and discard ineffective scripts that cause problems in communication and connection
● Role-Play to Practice – an opportunity to practice what you’re learning with a partner
● End-of-Module Review – A fillable form to guide you in assessing what you still need to know and where you still might have questions
Module 5: HOW to use what you’ve learned
At the end of this module, you’ll have successfully used what you’ve learned to have a connected conversation with your adult child!
You’ll learn:
● How to identify ineffective mindsets, topics, and goals in conversation, so you can avoid them
● How the tools you’ve learned connect to each other, so you can have effective, connected conversations with your adult child
● How to use the tools in real-time conversations and identify areas you’re still working on so that your conversations with your child go smoothly
● How to use these tools to create successful, connected interactions with your adult child
You’ll receive:
● PDF Worksheet: Script Flowchart – To help you put together all the tools you’ve learned into one solid flowchart for interaction
● PDF Worksheet: Role-Playing the Adult Child – To help you show another person how to role-play your adult child so you can practice these tools and techniques to increase connection
● Role-Play to Practice – an opportunity to practice what you’re learning with a partner
● End-of-Module Review – A fillable form to guide you in assessing what you still need to know and where you still might have questions
● Strength Reassessment – A fillable form to assess how far you’ve progressed in your ability to meet your adult child’s needs
“This course will help you more easily transition from parenting your adult child to becoming a friend and ally to your adult child…. It helps you let go of parenting the way you always have and move into a new environment of trust.” – Jeannine L.
“[The course] helped me to understand so many elements of communicating and how important it is to be aware of how you do it so that you can make the necessary changes to get the type of connection you’d like.” – Emily N.
“Adam offers wonderful advice and a way to take a long, honest look at your relationship with your children, your part in it, and how you can improve it.” – Megan H.
After you complete this course, you’ll know how to start, continue, and complete connected conversations with your adult child without stress, tension, arguments, or awkwardness. You’ll feel confident about reaching out to your adult child for connection, and you won’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells anymore!
Bonuses
Access to 1 Full Year of Q&A Call Recordings
In addition to recordings of the 2 Q&A calls for your cohort, you’ll receive lifetime access to a full year of Q&A call recordings for this class – not just the 2 that go with your time in the course, but every group that takes this course for a full year after you enroll. These 12 months of recordings will give you much more information and many more solutions to problems you run up against!
2 Group Coaching Sessions With Adam
Two live group coaching sessions during the course for live question-and-answer sessions, with Adam and the members of your cohort! In these sessions, you’ll get real-time analysis of your situation and feedback from both Adam and others who are in the same situation.
1 One-On-One Coaching Session With Adam
For the stuff that’s too personal or private to bring up in a group setting – a one-on-one talk with Adam, any time during the 12 months after you enroll! Confused about how a conversation went? Need some feedback on how to use a tool? That’s what one-on-one coaching is for!
My Guarantee to You
I’m in the business of helping people achieve their goals. If for any reason you are not completely satisfied by the potential for change this course offers, I’ll refund 100% of your tuition at any time in the first 30 days. All you have to do is email me and it’ll get done!
Are you ready to learn new ways to interact with your adult child that will make them want to connect with you? Are you ready for conversations that bring your adult child closer to you? Are you ready to reconnect with your child as a fellow adult?
This course will help you reconnect faster than you’d ever expect!
In just five short weeks, you can build the skills and learn the tools you need to create the authentic connection you want with your adult child – and strengthen and deepen it every day.
Join Our Community
The next opportunity to take this course begins on November 2nd.
Registration closes at 11:45 PM on November 1st – so don’t wait!
One-Time Payment:
$397
(For Founding Members ONLY!)
3 Monthly Payments:
$142 (x 3)
(For Founding Members ONLY!)
Your Experience Starts With the Click of a Button
As soon as you click the “Reconnect With Your Adult Child Now” button above, you’ll be taken to our secure checkout system. After you register, you’ll receive a receipt in email. Shortly after that, you’ll receive your login information in email as well. And if you’re one of the first 30 to sign up, you’ll also see your bonuses linked from inside the course portal.
We’re looking forward to seeing you in the course!
